On Knowing When to Stop

By on June 11, 2013

A lot of times we get so caught up bantering and “negging” women that we flat out lose them. It’s fun to be able to talk to them from a position of power… and it’s even nicer to see how they enjoy finally talking with a man instead of a puppy.

Men everywhere have learned that being a nice guy doesn’t get them anywhere… and they completely changed their attitude towards women.

But, at some point, the girl simply gets so irritated that she loses interest… and the guy is blown away because he doesn’t know what he did wrong. To him, he just the same things he did in the beginning of the conversation… but to the girl, enough is enough.

Here’s how things typically go. The guy approaches, the girl responds in a patronizing manner. He steps up to her level, then things escalate. This isn’t a “fight” per se, rather it’s a fantastic way to deal with hot girls who usually have a lot of puppies following them around. And if you’re in the game, you too are most interested in dating more beautiful women…

Now, here’s where most guys go wrong. There comes a point in the conversation when the girls are convinced about the guys’ abilities to “be real men”, to talk coherently and preserve their social value. So what they do is they start complimenting them. They might say things such as…


Well, you certainly have balls…

You seem to think you’re such a hot shot… I wonder if you’re really who you say you are…

Is this the best you can do over the phone?

What kind of a job do you have anyway, that lets you talk on the phone for so long?


While this may seem hard for you to believe, these are actually compliments. They either want to know more about you or they’re pushing the conversation to a physical level (a.k.a. first date).

Now, here’s where most guys go wrong. They enjoy so much putting down those women that they keep on keeping on. They don’t go into what we call the “comfort phase”, where you just get to know the girl (and she gets to know you a little better).

irritated girlOh man, it’s all downhill from there! The attraction eventually fades away and they lose the girls. They’ll start saying things like:

Boy, you were really interesting in the beginning but now you’re turning into a big douche…


You know, you were really funny up to now but this time you crossed the line!


Let’s not cross that line, shall we? Right when they’re sure you’re a man who knows what he wants, you’ll want to show some form of interest in them. The goal is to be with them, not put them down. And unless they’re trying to cheat on their boyfriends, there’s very little chance that the road to their panties is paved with negging and bantering.

I’ve said a lot of cocky things to women in my life and I keep doing it. That’s the easy part. What’s not so easy is to control yourself, to see the situation from the outside, to remember your goal and to not be distracted on your path to just getting them.

Learn to know when to stop and don’t let testosterone ruin your chances with yet another girl who might be the one or just a really good sex partner.


What to do the next time this happens


OK, whenever you feel like they’re acknowledging your power and they’re hinting at wanting to get to know you better, instead of throwing some more $hit at them, try the following:

  • Make them laugh by telling them a joke that won’t offend them. Try to make fun of a common enemy (maybe a certain category of people, a celebrity etc.)
  • Ask them something about themselves. Don’t be afraid of giving away your power. If you and her are going to become as intimate to the point of sex, you’ll want to know as many important things about her as you can.

Can you do this? Great! Now this doesn’t mean you have to stop bantering. If you’re the kind of guy who loves to joke around, no one will change that, particularly some girl you’ve just men. Just learn to tone it down when necessary and show you’re a complex man who knows when and how to act.

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